My two sisters and their boyfriends were able to visit my two
nephews, 12 and 14 years old, last night at the group home where they
are being held. My brother, my nephews' dad, who has had critical
health and financial problems, and also his girlfriend were arrested
this week under the charges of cultivating marijuana and offering it to
minor dependents. His girlfriend is from England and has been living in
America without legal citizenship. My brother was told that if he
signed a confession, which he did, she would be released. No one has
heard from or of her since she was arrested. My brother's trial is
today at 1:30pm and charges still stand.
Taylor and Johnny, my nephews, are staying at Polinsky Center for kids in San Diego, California. To be honest, I had no idea that children's group homes existed in the U.S. until now. I knew that there weren't enough foster homes to care for the children who have been abandoned or taken from their parents by the state, but I guess my mind just kept that notion blank. Finding very little info on the internet about group homes, my mind is still in the dark. I did learn that there is not even enough room in group homes and that many children are staying in hotels.
My sister described the Polinsky group home to me and it wasn't at all what I expected. It looks like an old, run down school, fenced in like a detention facility with security everywhere. Visiting hours are very limited and my family could not visit with Taylor and Johnny without supervision. There are about 300 kids living in this particular group home, ages 0-18 years. There is a nursery for the babies. My nephews are able to play basketball, do crafts, and other activities like bake in the kitchen. Taylor made a friend with another 14 year old who has been living there his entire life. Johnny made a friend too but that boy was released and another kid took his place.
The legal process to release my nephews will take at least one week. My sisters and boyfriends brought Taylor and Johnny two backpacks filled with new clothes, new socks, a journal, books, comic books, a miniature garden gnome, along with notes and letters from the rest of our family. My sister's boyfriend filled the Mp3 players with music for them but the boys were not allowed to take them. The boys were so happy to finally see family and they were full of unanswered questions. They were worried about their dad, their home, their things at home, etc. They wanted to leave and start their new life living with my mom, their grandma.
Visiting hours were over and everyone hugged and cried. Taylor and Johnny did not want to be left there. My sisters and significant others had a difficult time with the visit and could not sleep last night. Today, my mom will meet their attorney and be at their court hearing. Our lives are now on hold with one goal: to get our boys released from this place.
I couldn't sleep last night either. My mind wanted to think about how my nephews might be feeling, but I had a difficult time imagining it. More blanks were drawn. Because the reality of a group home is now a personal part of my life, I am forced to think of this multitude of children without parents, without a home, without a permanent biological family.
Contrary to some, I am glad that their mothers did not abort them. I am thankful that they have been removed from neglected or abused situations. I am relieved that people have donated to these non-profit children's homes. But America, even in an economic recession, is so wealthy. Why can't these "homes" be more pleasant, and look more like homes? I used to long to go to Africa to care for the orphans. Now I realize that the orphans are practically in my backyard. Yet I feel powerless to change anything.
I am still in shock about my brother. He sounded relieved upon hearing that our mom will take custody of two of his kids and that I will have permanent custody of his youngest. I know that he brought upon himself any consequences for his actions, but it still saddens me that he can not even talk to his kids, nor his girlfriend of many years and does not know how long he will remain in jail. I can't imagine being arrested. His life will forever be changed, but does anyone come out of jail a better person?
It is so easy for me to look down upon people who have made wrong decisions that hurt themselves and others, but there is no room for that in this personal situation for me. I have made plenty of wrong decisions myself, and have received much mercy. No, for me there is only extreme grief and heartache, not only for my nephews and my family, but also for the many homeless children and childless parents... and also for me.
Hello America. I am sensing lots of worry and fear right now from our country as the news continues to blare out the thousands of job lay-offs and big business foreclosures. Even with the hope of a new government, there is still talk of something similar to the Great Depression which may be just around the corner. Could it really be possible?
It feels a little bit like an earthquake. The ground that we learn to trust as solid each day suddenly begins moving, even rolling like large hills of wake. It is a strange sensation because it rarely happens. The most frightful thing about it is that one never knows how big it will become and how long it will last. Will it just shake us up a little or will people actually be injured, with even news of some fatalities?
It breaks my heart when I hear of people who are going hungry or middle-class citizens who are now standing in line at the food bank, which is running low in their stock. Families who once had plenty are now rationing their food each week. Grown men are searching for a new job after decades of working the same trade for the same business.
While I was talking to my sister about these things today, she said that she could feel the stress and tension from people at the grocery store. Many feel insecure at this time and do not enjoy the unanswered question: How bad is this going to get? It is easy to blame-shift our problems onto fortune-making businesses and excessive government spending when perhaps we were not so wise to prepare for the possibility of an economic crisis ourselves.
I am not sure what I would do if I lost my job. Worry, panic and despair would certainly be tempting. As a single mother of four, I often feel a heavy weight of responsibility. Yet at the same time, I feel hopeful. Please allow me to explain.
There are three good things that are now possible that would not be otherwise, in our current state of affairs.
First of all, difficulties bring growth. The emotion of alarm motivates us to break free from our daily rut. We open our eyes and we observe. We ponder and think. We learn. We make lasting changes in order to lessen our chances of that problem happening again, or we take the risk of exploring a different route. Perhaps a job change or a new business idea. Perhaps we learn to garden and grow our own food. Maybe we simplify our lives.
This brings me to good thing #2. Americans have lots of stuff. We have stuff to clean all of our stuff. And then we have stuff to store the stuff we use to clean our stuff. It is not wrong to appreciate possessions. Our country has been very blessed with comfort. But sometimes we depend on luxuries too much or we mistakenly think it can fulfill our purpose for living. Then our possessions cause us undue stress and anxiety, especially in the thought of losing them. A decrease in our income can prove to us that joy will remain or even be discovered for the first time without all the extra stuff.
The third good thing is my favorite of all. Hard times bring people together. They create opportunities to help our friends, our relatives, even complete strangers. I love to hear stories of charity especially when the giver has very little. I have a difficult time telling my acquaintances only that I will pray for them when they are struggling financially. But what else can I do? Ponder Elizabeth. Think. Ah, I can use my passion for writing to inform and encourage people. Even small things like a blog can be helpful, for it brings people together.
".... Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and {yet} your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?.... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:24-34 (NASB)
The Biblical understanding of hell has been one of the greatest controversies throughout church history. The issue has undergone many debates. The traditional view over the centuries has been generally a picture of a dark cave on fire, filled with unimaginable physical torment that never ends and is irrevocable. It has been the subject of famous sermons and comic strips alike.
Since we are speaking about existence after death, that great unknown, we must rely primarily upon prophecy. Few other documents give us as much solid and consistent insight as the Holy Bible, although those truths can be difficult to comprehend.
In my limited study of the issue, I've been compelled to look at differing viewpoints such as Conditionalism, that souls are naturally mortal unless granted immortality by God; Annihilationism, the belief that sinners are completely destroyed either before or after a time of punishment; and Universalism, that all humans will eventually be reconciled to God and saved from hell in the afterlife. All of these views have been supported by theologians and Bible scholars, some greatly renown.
Conditionalism is argued mainly from the Scriptures 1 Timothy 6:15-16 that "God ...alone is immortal" and 2 Timothy 1:10 that "Christ Jesus... has brought immortality... through the gospel." Many Eastern Orthodox theologians advocate this view of the mortality of the soul.
Seventh-Day Adventists and Jehovah's Witnesses are two churches among others that commonly accept the Annihilationism theory, although the belief is gaining more acceptance as legitimate for some Protestant theologians. Their main Scriptural support is Matthew 10:28, "... fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell" and also John 3:16, that unbelievers will perish and not have everlasting life. They believe that the second death spoken of in Revelation 21:8 is the death of the soul.
Universalism, a belief that was held by people such as M K Ghandi, George MacDonald, and possibly the beloved C.S. Lewis, is based largely on the verses that speak of God as loving and merciful, that Christ came not to condemn the world but to save it, and from other scriptures such as Luke 3:6, "And all mankind will see God's salvation."
The study of hell or Gehenna is one worth doing in my opinion. The documented records in the Bible have much more to say about it than I had previously realized and many words about death and the after-life were spoken by Christ Himself. Our belief about heaven and hell profoundly affects the way we live presently as well as vice versa. What purpose is one without the other?
I believe that there is much indication that rewards and punishments will be administered in various degrees in accordance with works performed while individuals were on earth. There also seems to be a strong gesture for the exception of innocents such as unborn babies, children and mentally challenged or disabled and those who never heard the gospel in this regard. But all of these propositions are for another post.
While the aforementioned views seem to have valid biblical support, I would like to deal primarily with refuting the Annihilationist view from Scripture which, I think, will also ultimately oppose the others. How the Bible defines death and describes hell is of great significance to our understanding. For the sake of brevity, I will assume the reader has already had some exposure to biblical doctrine concerning these issues.
The Bible describes the picture of hell differently than many common portrayals which has caused much confusion such as, how can darkness and the fire of hell exist in the same place? Darkness in the Bible is often figurative such as in John 3:19, "...men loved darkness rather than light...." Eternal fire is also often symbolic. The fire and brimstone of Revelation 20:10 appears to be a metaphor (along with the "wine of the wrath of God" as well as the rest of the book of Revelation) referencing verses in the Old Testament.
Although darkness and fire are most likely figurative terms, the Bible describes hell in other, more literal, conscious terms of torment: like a wandering star, a prison, a burning garbage dump, dark, uncomfortably hot; it feels like perpetual death. It is where the full are now thirsty and hungry, the rich experience poverty, cowards are consumed with terror, the proud are rebuked, those who laughed are now weeping, the peaceful are now fighting, liars are lied to, kidnappers are held captive, etc. Some will be physically tortured.
As a side note, the question always inevitably turns up regarding the atrocity of the whole situation of hell and this is why many have sought an alternative to it. How could a loving God torture people? Why not simply place these souls out of existence. I do not feel that I have adequately understood this concept myself but I think it has much to do with the fact of justice and that love and mercy can not exist unless equity, fairness and standards of righteousness are upheld. Undiminished justice is a difficult truth to accept, especially in our modern, "civilized" day but it is a truth nonetheless. The Bible as well as reality are clear: what we sow is what we will reap.
Hell and the second death are believed by most Christians to be the ultimate separation from God (Matthew 7:21-23, et al). Since God is omnipresent "even the highest heavens can not contain Him", He will also be present in hell (Revelation 14:9-11). The separation from God is a relational one, an absence of experiencing His mercy and grace. Could part of hell's torment be for souls to see and know the goodness of God and yet be unable to experience it? The parable of Luke 16:19-31 reminds us that nothing will be able to change the minds of those who reject Jesus Christ, even in the after-life.
Some annihilationists believe that punishment for the unrighteous will be served for a time and then these souls will be completely annihilated. But "eternal" is the key word in the Bible. Hell is described as a place where "their worm [figurative] does not die" (Mark 9:44, 46, 48) and Matthew 25:46 could not make the terms more clear, "These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." To say that the punishment ends at any time in eternity, one must completely ignore the term "eternal" as well as the definition of it. It means without beginning or end, outside of time, endless, perpetual, changeless.
In Genesis 2 after the creation story, mankind was told that in the day he ate of the tree he would surely die. Many theologians interpret the Hebrew word for "day" as figurative in Genesis, but it is clear in Genesis 2 that something changed the very moment that man ate from the wrong tree. The change was that he was now susceptible to certain horrors such as pain, disease, suffering and death, i.e. torment. The realities of hell began to be experienced on earth. Biblical death is interpreted by many as "in death always dying".
God told Adam that if he ate of the wrong tree he would surely die but he did not die. In the Bible, death never means extinction but always separation. Physical death is the separation of the body and soul. Spiritual death is the separation between man and God. "Dead" to sin and the law is the separation between Christians and sin and the law. Marital death is the separation between two spouses. There is never any indication that death is extinction, but only separation, and this belief has been scrutinized repeatedly yet held consistently by Bible scholars throughout all of religious history.
The biblical definition of death is contrary to the finite human understanding of it. The Bible not only defines death, destruction and perishing as ongoing existence, but it describes hell as an eternal death. In the prophetic books as well as throughout the Bible, we are clearly warned. If one seeks to understand truth according to the Bible, I can not see any way around the fact that hell and its inhabitants are eternal.
"He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him." John 3:36 NASB
I recently read an admonishment from two good-intentioned souls to their fellow Christians concerning the fact that we, as a group, are notorious for being very poor tippers. The conclusion from each of them was that we should change this tragic reputation and instead become VERY generous in that extra amount of money we pay on top of our restaurant bill, even if the server is having a bad day. The theological foundation behind this exhortation is basically that God gives us much that we do not deserve, and tipping is a means to draw Non-believers inadvertently to Christianity.
Those who know me have already guessed that I have some (grave) arguments against this perceived doctrine, but first I have to humbly admit a few things. Working for four years in the restaurant industry myself as a server, I can say that Sundays really can be the dreaded day of the week for waitpersons financially, even though it is usually the most crowded. For me, there were always inevitable large groups of people at lunchtime, dressed up in their Sunday best who took up tables for hours, were very smiley and polite, although demanding, and generally left a large mess with a very small bill and an even more meager tip.
There were always welcomed exceptions, but the commonality of the situation was enough to make anyone steer clear of that church or religion for eternity. Furthermore, I’ve been to enough churches and small groups to be able to confidently state that this empty, outward show sadly typifies us as a whole community. But I am getting off the subject.
About tipping for service, further research on my part proved that even Non-Christians agree that tipping etiquette for all kinds of service involves great generosity and if we can not afford it then, well we should stay home (and, I assume, not receive anything from anyone). If the person serving us is doing a poor job, complaints should be addressed to the management rather than affronted to the tip. Also, waitperson staff is expected by their employers to receive a certain amount of wages in tips and this amount is reported on tax forms. This means that not only do service people depend on tips for their livelihood, but they pay taxes for them as well.
But what is the purpose of the tip? It seems to have become one with the wage and the customer can not help but feel a little bit cheated in this respect. I have to admit that paying extra charges at a checkout is no fun for me personally. In my reconciled mind, there is a specific amount that I have agreed to pay for a certain item, only to find out that it can be up to twice the original amount after paying for shipping, handling, sales tax, or state tax. And restaurants are not entirely different. I would much rather know the whole deal in the beginning rather than try to figure out and then approximate (usually round way up) the extra percentage. But maybe that is only because I failed Algebra 2 in tenth grade.
Still, if a tip really were a tip for service, it would add much more fun, and meaning, to the equation. A good tip does not signify anything unless I possess the freedom, as well as exercise this freedom, to leave a low tip. To emphatically imply that we must always leave a high amount, as good and dutiful citizens to the rest of mankind is forgetting the condition of cause and effect, or in other words, what one gets is also what one deserves.
From experience I can say that it is all too easy as a Christian to emphasize one valuable truth over another so much so that we exclude the other. To say that all Christians should always tip generously is, in my view, crossing the border of legalism. The Bible contains many absolute statements, but the requirement of high tipping is not one of them. Also, to live under the burden of a law is to remove the joy of obeying that law. It is only with the presence of options that we can will one way or another.
What is the point of mercy without justice? While Christians will receive undeserved
mercy upon entering heaven, meaning that we will not be punished for our sins, the
price for our sins still had to be paid for, by Someone. This was a steep and painful price, because
sin tortures people.... Plus, although
forgiven, we will still stand before a judgment seat to either receive or not
receive just rewards for our works while we were on earth.
Therefore, as we would like for God to treat us, and as He does treat us, so we can also treat each other. Gifts and compliments will only gain in value if things are seen for what they are – whether good, bad or a sway toward one or the other. The accepted 15%-20% tip for a restaurant meal in America is the standard on which our freedom stands, for all liberties require a criterion from which to be measured. We are free to not only to give appropriately within that range, but also more or less, depending on what is believed to be due. Beliefs are based both on an objective standard as well as a subjective desire, and ultimately our beliefs will reflect in our tipping. It’s in the Bible.
