Amazing grace. The most beautiful and powerful concept in the entire Bible, in my opinion. This is the story of my conversion to grace, by grace.
Somewhere around ten or eleven years old, my mom confided in our pastor's wife that she was worried about me. She thought that I would never walk with God. The pastor's wife, possessing a charismatic nature, made a prophecy about me when she emphatically replied to my mom, "You have nothing to worry about with her." It was through her husband's teaching that I began to follow Jesus, beginning with a very distinct event a couple of years later. Soon after that, my pastor and his wife became missionaries to Guatemala and in spite of attempts to reach them, I have never been able to officially thank them, as well as their son who was my youth pastor, for saving my life.
But my journey after that was a rocky one, continual stumbling and getting back up again. This Christian life was a difficult one. I believed in Christ, but most of the time I didn't really feel like being a Christian. It was either boring, or it was too much work. Too much defeat, doom and gloom. Was it supposed to be so unenjoyable?
Years later, in college, I became desperate. I knew I was a believer. I was sure that I wanted to remain as a Christian. But I was missing some vital element. Every week at church, I would bring up the same subject in every conversation with anyone - friends, acquaintances, pastors, deacons, even new Christians. I would tell them that I wanted to grow, I wanted to change, but HOW? I don't understand how! Will somebody please explain to me how to overcome my sins! I would almost be in tears. Most reactions to me were confounded. People thought I was fine the way I was, and didn't understand why I was so upset about it; nobody had a sufficient answer to my distress.
Finally the enlightenment came through a Bible college class that was completely unlike any other I had taken before. The name of the class was "The New Covenant of Grace" and although I had heard grace preached many times before, this was something else, something new to me. Light bulbs were lit at every corner as I frantically tried to write down as many words as possible in my notes that I was hearing. Homework was not dreaded for this class, for I went home and reread the Scripture verses over and over and then went back to class the next week and questioned the pastor/teacher incessantly. He smiled, and knew exactly what was happening to me.
The concept finally hit me all at once after the class was over and while I was reading a book called The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, by Hannah Whitall Smith. The transformation in me is impossible to explain especially since it concerns such basic concepts of Christianity: repentance, faith and grace. All I can say is that I finally understood what it meant to walk victoriously, and a tremendous relief occurred in me. I imagine it is what Paul Bunyan was thinking when he wrote of Christian's burden falling off his back when he arrived at the cross in Pilgrim's Progress.
At the time, I worked as an administrator at the church for another pastor who was the overseer of the Bible college extension campus I was attending. The same experience happened to him on the same day while he was on a missions trip. Upon his return, we excitedly shared our stories with each other. We were like two little kids without a care in the world, even raising our hands to heaven and praising God as we were talking to each other. It must have been quite a spectacle.
And that is just what I was to become as I tried to talk about God's grace to anyone who would at least pretend to listen. My pastor friend soon after became the lead director of the main Bible college campus and I left for the mission field in Eastern Europe where I wanted to live and die (although God had other plans.) Being my impulsive and blurting self (I actually used to be much worse), I preached wherever I went. It felt like I was saved all over again, a second time, except that I would no longer walk in defeat because my sins no longer had power over me. This sounded exceptionally arrogant on my part and friends wondered what in the world I was talking about. I didn't completely know myself. Later I found out that some people call it the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
There were generally three different negative reactions to my testimony. The first was that I became an extreme left-wing liberal in some minds (even though I was conservative), void of any absolutes. It sounded like I was telling people that they could live in licentiousness when I said that as Christians we don't have to worry about our sins anymore. They have been completely removed when we believe that Jesus died on the cross and said, "It is finished." Now we can live how we want, not under the legal system of the law. This sounded like blasphemy. I tried to explain that the new covenant is a new law written on the heart, not on tablets of stone. By simply loving God because of His great love and promises for us, we can now walk in newness of life, without sin.
This, however, came across like I believed in Christian perfectionism, that we can achieve perfection before we reach heaven. So then I tried to explain that yes, we do still sin, and even fall into very destructive sins. Although we have died to sin, we still live in sin. We are always completely sinful as a matter of fact in our flesh, but under the new covenant, it feels like we are sinless because sin has lost its grasp on our spirit. The Spirit within us is much greater, stronger, and alive than the life of our flesh. Believing this truth has a profound affect on the way we live. It is almost like sin decides to give up on us because we no longer care about it so much. It is insignificant. We are no longer slaves to addictions and destructions. Sure, we might fall into a sin for a while, but it is short-lived, never permanent. We are constantly growing. Our sins actually become avenues or tools for that growth.
Over the last fifteen years, I've found that the most common misunderstanding of God's grace is that people confuse it with mercy. The term grace is thrown around as some kind of fluffy act of pardon or forgiveness. When Oprah Winfrey fell off the weightloss wagon and gained 40 lbs, people told Oprah that it was okay. They could give her "grace" because they had experienced the same thing. We give people "grace" because we have faults too. Or, we ought to give people "grace" instead of judging them. But this is mercy, not grace.
Grace actually changes things. By giving grace to someone, we enable them to make lasting changes, and we can watch it happen. It works by keeping the passion and the romance alive in our relationship with God. It maintains a mysterious fire in our souls that is evident to the rest of the world. When God forgives us of our sins, He wants to spare us the tragedy of remaining in them so He gives us the strength, or the power, to overcome them. In this sense, grace provides a surpassing security. If we as Christians are walking in certain sins for long periods of time, we do not know God's grace. If we are not experiencing victories, we are not living by grace. If there is not adequate evidence of our salvation in our actions, then we do not know God! This ought to strike terrible fear in us.
The third negative reaction I encounter with grace is that it can be very offensive to people. They feel as though they are being criticized, or excluded from some elite group of people who have experienced it. First of all, it is possible to live in grace without understanding the concept of it. One of the aspects about grace that I am currently learning is that Non-believers can express it too. This surprised me. I wondered if those people are really saved and they just don't know it, which is possible, but I'm realizing that anyone can be carried by God's grace, or love of goodness. Although their faith is not imputed unto salvation, there are some Non-Christians who put many Christians to shame by their good works, in fact. This is evidence of God's grace in their lives.
Secondly, grace is a tremendous blow to self-righteousness. Believing in grace involves an absolute surrender of our own striving, or any trust in ourselves. Losing our lives means living in a continual state of humility, becoming aware of and admitting our constant faults, weaknesses, sins or just plain "I could have handled that situation better". Although grace is an inexplainable joy, it is also painful, like surgery, but it is the only way to remain living the abundant life. The joy of grace is actually our strength. It miraculously becomes a pleasure to admit our wrongs and to place others higher than ourselves. Can you see how grace is a new law written on the heart?
Like I said earlier, this is nearly impossible to explain, and it has been portrayed a thousand times before, but we all have some sort of hint as to whether or not it is a reality in our lives, and to what extent. It is the process by which we are saved, and the only way to grow. Once we know grace, we can spot it in others. Although many Reformed theologians believe in the new covenant of grace, it is not the Calvinist's doctrines of grace. The new covenant is limitless, Spirit-filled and a condition of the heart, rather than locked into a systematic theology. There is so much more to say about it and I feel that I did an awful injustice by not explaining it clearly. I left out supporting Scriptures in order to keep this post brief. Although I am learning that there is a proper place, time and expression for this subject, I can not keep it to myself, and I have no doubt that the power of His grace can release others from the tragic burden of defeat.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.Amazing Grace
John Newton (1725-1807)
Stanza 6 anon.
Well, I am still trying to find answers to the questions of church as it relates to the modern-day Christian in America. What are some common problems that some Christians might struggle with in the church world today? Are they unnecessary issues? If so, how can we help to change these problems as much as possible on this side of heaven? I finally got the bright idea to start searching the Bible for facts in hopes that I might begin to understand what God might have to say about this concept of church. Here are some amateur thoughts of mine after reading some Scriptures.
Hebrews 10:25 establishes the fact that Christians should "assemble" together consistently. Other verses explain why: For spiritual protection provided by pastors, leaders and the presbytery (1 Tim 4:14) or body of elders as they "shepherd" us (1 Peter 5:1-2) through Bible teaching (Titus 1:7, 9) and leading by example for us to imitate (Hebrews 13:7); to use our talents to serve others (1 Peter 4:10), to encourage and build each other up (1 Thes 5:11), to confess our sins to each other, to pray for each other for healing (James 5:16), etc.
Many problems that Christians have with churches, and that I have encountered myself, have come from the simple fact that we are part of a fallible family. Like a physical, nuclear or extended family, there are going to be faults, weaknesses, even very grave wrongs committed toward each other. This is a fact that on one hand, must be lovingly pointed out as wrong, yet on the other hand, simply accepted.
Earthly families might quarrel or not see life from the same perspective even though they are in the same family. These disagreements are often very sad and hurtful. I was able to experience some of this over the holidays. But communication helps us to grow closer and stronger through the differences, as long as we do not disown each other. Some families have extremely damaging issues, yet they all still come together for Christmas, or a family reunion. This is interesting to me. Perhaps Christian unity exists much more than what meets the human eye?
Other problems concern false doctrines and practices within church leadership. This is the reason for the mandate of a body of elders, plural. A group can make better and more effective decisions than a single leader. They are responsible to teach sound doctrine and warn of wrong influences. A Christian is responsible to attend a church that is believed to be the most accurate model of the Biblical description of church. But, what exactly is that model? This is where I am confused and need to do further research.
At this point however, two key concepts in the New Testament stand out to me: the Early Church and the body of Christ. There seems to be one major difference between the early church world and the current one. The Early Church saw themselves as one body, the body of Christ, which met in various geographical places (for obvious reasons). The body of Christ today is divided into many denominations and movements, each claiming spoken and unspoken, to be the church that resembles the Biblical one.
Although the body of Christ in the Bible speaks of consisting of many members, it is still one body of Christ (Romans 12:5) held together by the unity of the Spirit (Ephesians 4:3). "There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all." (Ephesians 4:5, 6)
Could the Scriptures aforementioned concerning the reasons for attending church also be applied to the body of Christ? In other words, do Christians have the same responsibility to all believers? Acts 11:29-30 tells us that the church in Antioch sent financial aid to the church in Jerusalem. Jerusalem had already sent an elder and prophets to Antioch. Paul and Barnabas and others traveled from church to church. This was truly one body of Christ.
The reason why I am wondering this is because although friction and division has its place, and we can learn much from differences, there seems to be a strange alienation today. Perhaps the cause is the ease and comfort that the Industrial Revolution brought with it, or commercialism, or Hollywood. I really don't know if there was a single cause or a root of the change, or even a marked change at all.
It just seems foreign to me that often when I step onto a full elevator, nobody says a word. Vehicles with single, distant drivers crowd the freeway. Passengers sitting 2 inches from each other on a plane for hours are not interested in even saying "hello". Students at school and colleagues at work hardly know any personal details of each other in many parts of America. I don't know the first names of most of my neighbors even though we exchange greetings quite often. Does this seem weird to anyone else or is this the way it has always been?
Does this sense of separation from one another affect the church today? The proclaimed reason for most church dissensions, such as the Reformation, if I understand it correctly, is that a group of people disagree with the main body. Necessary change is not feasible unless a break away occurs. I can't see any problem with this, especially since Jesus led a movement which was contrary in many ways to the church world of His day while claiming that the unified gospel had always existed, and His disciples continued "to obey God rather than men". But after that, any dissenters from the Early Church were considered heretics.
The members of the body of Christ belong to each other (Romans 12:5). This spiritual family takes precedence over any other family or relationship, which Christ also exemplified. I love to see close friendships among people at church, who hang out with each other outside of a worship service or small group, but it seems rare in my experience, or awkward, or as though Christian friends are only fulfilling some sort of "ministry" rather than a sense of belonging to each other. Church programs try hard to create this kind of unity but they often seem fabricated to me.
That one body of Christ often seems obscure at church. I am surrounded by Christians, people who are devoted to Jesus Christ, and yet we hardly know each other. We will visit each others' homes, eat meals together, even pray together every week for an entire year and still not know things like favorite scriptures, hobbies, likes and dislikes. We know if they attended church last week, but we don't know their intense, internal dilemmas. We know each others' position on eschatology but we don't know their political views. So many taboos. We are close without the closeness.
Unity does not mean total conformity. I love the diversity of Christians. It would be good for us to encourage each other in figuring out and supporting the wide range of different gifts and lifestyles. It's difficult for very different people to be friends but what a beautiful picture to see odd couples and groups working together because of the common bond of Christ. Together we fulfill a special purpose on earth and I think we all long for that unique togetherness.
Going to church seems so unlike my current understanding of gathering together with the body of Christ, almost as though the essence of church is in part missing. Is it too formalized in the same way that public schools remove the heart of learning? Theologians contrast a local church body with the body of Christ, but should we be striving to decrease that contrast as much as possible? Does the multitude of Christianity's factions sadden God, even though He can still use them for His glory?
Or is everything okay, and going according to plan? Maybe us Christians expend a lot of wasted energy on fruitless works, but when it's all said and done, in heaven, we will see all the ways that God used our weaknesses to prove His mercy, His free gifts and His unconditional love.
I really do not understand the problems I am trying to describe. But in my heart I have this nagging longing for church to be different, not necessarily the specific church that I attend, only the modern American church world in general. I desire to see more passion for Christ and care for each other. But I also want to see that devotion and love spill over onto the world, not only for people but for the earth, our health, our possessions. I want church to be a picture of the body of Christ. I'm not trying to complain or state that I am above these issues since they are my problems too. I am only attempting to explain this strong emotion in me. Thus, my endless string of questions about church.
The citizens of Newport Beach,
California do not appreciate the airplanes that fly directly over their
million dollar homes, and some of them fought to cause planes to be
rerouted over the back bay to the Orange County airport, and to
regulate them to engage in very steep landings and take-offs. This
does absolutely nothing to decrease my fear of flying. The Seattle
airport isn't much smoother with its always stormy weather. And it was
my lot to experience both landing strips over the holidays.
Even while my plane was in the air, every inconsistency meant potential trouble. Why did the engine become louder? Then I couldn't hear it at all. Did the plane shut down? Is the turbulence going to get worse? Oh, thank God it stopped! I watched the wing of the plane from my seat window just to make sure that it stayed attached to the main body. It didn't help to see it shaking and jutting all over the place. At any moment it could've snapped right off, and taken an engine along with it.
While some passengers on the plane were worried about their carry-ons, air temperature and when the flight attendants would serve the snacks, all I cared about was the airliner remaining in the air. Sure, it was nice that I remembered to bring a good read, but who cares about a book if I wasn't alive to read it?
Part of the problem is the feeling of finality in the situation. If I had the choice to safely exit the plane in midair during turbulence, I certainly would have chosen that option. But there was no escaping the terror. Did this describe hell in any sense? I thought so.
On a more positive note, one can learn all sorts of lessons while experiencing fear, although it feels more like realities are forced into an uncomfortably close view rather than learning; for example, the fact that I am not in control of my life as much as I normally think I am, presented itself to me. How often do I trust other transportation vehicles and other drivers? How do I know that some unforeseen fatal event or biological malfunction will not occur? Yes, there are plenty of precautions we can take in order to lessen our chances, but as much as I fool myself, I can never possess complete and absolute control of my ongoing breath. I am always dependent upon someone else, even if it is a pilot locked away in a cabin that I will never see.
Why do I rarely experience this kind of desperation for life, or for anything really, while on the ground? As a person who believes in an afterlife, why do I not take this fact more seriously? I was flabbergasted, while flying and pondering the mundane, that I spent so much (heartless) time and activity regarding such things as food, money and relationships. The curious fact is that these things are extremely important to life, but not nearly as vital as life itself. What good does it do a person if she gains the whole world but loses her very soul? Although a truism, this fear is much more rational than the one that concerned my beliefs toward airplanes.
After receiving very helpful feedback about my past blogs, I should have allowed it to refine my writing so that I am more sensitive to the reader rather than freely blurting things. Instead it made me afraid to continue writing. The criticism and realization of my mistakes were painful and I didn't feel like playing with fire anymore. But then, writing is a fire in my soul, whether refined or not, so I couldn't keep quiet for very long. Promptly upon my return home from California, I wrote a long letter to every member of my family thanking them for my stay but also rebuking them for their trivial family feuds. I am now back to my normal, writing self.
For all sorts of reasons buried in my past, I've learned that I want to fight for those things in which I believe, even if it ticks people off, rather than live the mindless, conformed life of the average American. I'll take the risk of adventure (within limits), problems and all, in order to avoid apathy. But I also do not want to go it alone, which means that I need to ground myself and work together with other people, especially those who desire the same. There is a fine line between ticking people off and working with them, and much of the time I'm not sure of which one I am doing. The balance seems impossibly unattainable to me at this point but as I already stated, I can't continue to be suppressed by my fear, including my fear of other opinions, when I have an inner longing that is greater than that fear.
There are two kinds of peacemakers: one who makes peace, and one who revolts against a current oppressive system in order to provide an opportunity for peace. I often have a bent for the latter. Some people worship this kind of dramatic passion in me while others might label me as offbeat, opinionated, or offensive depending on whether or not they agree with me. However, this only fuels my energy against them. Show me a worthy fight in which I can jump in, some controversial issue, and I am happy... as well as writing about it.
My fear of what others think about my thoughts and beliefs as they are presented in my blog has caused me some necessary introspection. Yes, I am outspoken, eccentric, rash and in need of improvement. I am incomplete on this side of heaven. Did I expect to be otherwise? Maybe I am not so different from the general public after all. Our fears, stresses and faults do not have to stop us in our tracks but they can serve to remind us of our desperation for life and make the path a little more clear. Here I end with a profound conversation from, in my opinion an overall unfortunate movie, WALL-E:
Captain: ...I can't just sit here and do nothing. That's all I've ever done! That's
all anyone on this blasted ship has ever done - nothing!
Auto: On the Axiom, you will survive.
Captain: I don't want to survive, I want to live!
Ages and ages ago, in 1987, when Howard Schultz bought the Seattle Starbucks chain, he standardized and mainstreamed the sale of coffee so that the term "coffeehouse" began to be redefined.
Before that, in America, there were coffee shops such as the lonely diner you might spy while driving through the desert out on Route 66. Coffee shops not only served plain old coffee but were notorious for their single mom waitresses and inexpensive bacon and egg breakfasts too.
In the 1960's after coffeehouses had immigrated from Italy, a coffeehouse became generally known as a countercultural espresso venue serving all kinds of artsy coffee drinks as well as other yummy homemade goodies. They sometimes provided live entertainment, such as a jazz pianist, and utilized building structures that resembled a Victorian style house with wall-papered hallways and antique furniture.
In present day America, coffee shops and houses still exist but now a coffee shop also includes such forms as Dunkin' Doughnuts and Applebee's, while Starbucks is technically considered a coffeehouse. The distinguished lines between the two are further obscured in the fact that many people intermix the ideas. Somehow a coffeehouse is now widely known as, a coffee shop.
Some people, like me, make a ruckus about the whole ordeal by correcting people when the term isn't clear. "At which 'coffee shop' did you want to meet me for a latte?" Our problem is that there is no new term to call the inbetweener coffeehouse/shop since Starbucks and the likes have commercialized the "house" atmosphere.
Teenagers who are not yet teenagers but act like them are called tweens. A country that is neither only republic nor exclusively democratic is known as a democratic republic. But how does one associate a coffeehouse that isn't exactly that?
The current issue that many American citizens have with same-sex marriages is that there is a fundamental difference between a heterosexual marriage and a gay one. They do not want the terms "marriage" and "family" to be redefined. Thus many are seeking a compromise of a "civil union" law that would include all of the civil liberties of marriage.
In the world of Christianity, the Calvinist and Arminian theologies are similar to the coffeehouse dilemma only in that many believers can not fully identify themselves with either one. Some people claim that the contradictory points of both systems are equally true: The elect have a free will. Others might preach that neither one has any truth, while still others are utterly and thoroughly confused. In a case like this one, I find that my arguments can become stormy twisters only to end in statements such as, "Oh, we actually agree with each other. We were fighting over semantical terms."
The same articulation could possibly pertain to the controversy of intelligent design versus evolution. What should we title a person who believes in a literal 24-hour, 6 day creation of aged creatures and of an earth that had evolved over billions of years? Or how does one describe a creationist who does not agree with creationism such as Robert T. Pennock?
I like knowing what you mean when you talk to me and I am thankful that there are standards of communication as well as a freedom to add new vocabulary. It has been estimated that about 25,000 new words are combined with the English language every year. Some scholars calculate that there are about five times as many English words today as in Shakespeare's time. But, why are we now less precise?
Some thoughts concerning an answer to that question is for another blog, but at the moment I would really like to avoid unnecessary friction in communication, while remaining loyal to truth and my beliefs. I would also be thrilled to see more attention given to the nomenclature of coffee. Next time you order that grande triple decaf soy vanilla mocha, make sure your friend isn't waiting for you over at Johnny Rockets.
Last night after church I found myself in a heated debate with some very dear friends of mine, spanning a complexity of religious issues. Emotions abounded and vulnerable honesty poured forth. I was surprised by how much I provoked their resistant words and passion. Religious and political conversations can be quaint and peaceful until there is a terrible difference of opinion.
Although we were all a little shaken up from arguing, we walked away with hugs, tears, affirmations, and challenges of "more ammo" for further debate. I felt that our relationships were taken to a new level; we were somehow tighter and freer to seek each other out at church and have a worthwhile conversation. I sensed a deeper respect and gratitude between us. And we all learned something new I think. At least I did.
But it was painful too. I am still feeling some of the intensity today. This is because it caused me to face my short-comings, my failures and my sin. Although this is an ignorant statement, I am wishing there was a nail being hammered through my hand instead of having to admit my wrong during the animated conversation.
Yet, this was one application of the sermon at church last night: the death of Christ is our example to follow. I nodded in agreement to the truths I was hearing while sitting comfortably in my chair. But I had no idea that the evidence of my belief in the preacher's words was going to be called into question immediately after hearing them.
I have had to search my heart and ask God to melt away any bitterness in it. I am not yet aware of any specific dislike toward any one person (at the moment) but I know that I have felt conflict towards categorical groups of people. Namely and yet generally, these groups are Christians and Non-Christians.
Growing up with a religious faith, I began to learn that I needed to be a fighter if I was going to protect my beliefs, as I believed them of course. Not only did I need to know how to defend my faith from the world, but also from modern day Christianity in some ways too. I needed to be on the offensive in order to combat strong influences around me and also to help others avoid what I experienced to be pitfalls.
I also eventually began to understand that there are always more sides to the story, and that it is of great benefit to seek out these other viewpoints before forming my own. Yet it is here that I have a great weakness. I voice my thoughts before understanding, or before placing myself in the shoes of my opponent. I have been told that I jump in argumentatively with my personal ideals and that I come across like I don't understand the topic, nor reality. I state my opinion as fact and disregard the much more knowledgeable opinions before me. Others can speak peaceably about controversial issues, but people might steer clear of controversy with me in fear of a firestorm.
These things not only slices open the flesh of my ego but it causes me unbearable grief to think that I might have (wrongly) turned anyone away from conversation or a relationship. As a Christian standing up for righteousness, I unwittingly ban the sinners from my life, and I possibly miss taking part in their salvation. Then I feel sorry for the sinners, since I am one too, and I become angry with Christians for closing their church doors to the weak and dying. In both cases and in many a debate, I unknowingly turn my friend into an enemy. And for this I am terribly sorry.
I ask for forgiveness for any insensitivity. A gentleness and care is something that I appreciate in others. This morning I asked certain friends how I might be failing to relate to others when debating issues. I also asked them to abandon all sensitivity and replace it with brutal honesty. As much as it hurt, I wanted to be personally offended. This would be the only way for me to understand my problem of communicating. They instead replied with a sensitive honesty that distressed my soul even further yet also opened my eyes to some degree, causing me to thank God for friends. Their outside insight sparked the thoughts for this post.
And now I ask God and my friends to help me change. Do you have any further feedback for me? I get private emails all the time that tell me my blogs are appreciated but why don't those people leave comments? Some things should be left private and some people would prefer to keep their statements within a safe atmosphere. Also, I talk about subjects that may not be of any concern or interest to others. But is there something about the way that I communicate that might keep a reader from responding?
There are so many blogs and debates that I would like to now retract and delete as if this would make my shame disappear, but I know that this is not the answer to my dilemma. To learn and grow is my objective. As a Christian, it is through Christ's death that my shame is forgiven, and it is only in losing my life, or confessing my sin, that I will discover the light of life itself.
Here are some imperatives that I would like to now remember before speaking or writing:
1. Restate the opposing side to make sure I understand it correctly.
2. Give ample time to consider it.
3. Agree with any statements that I believe are true or explain how I might relate to the other person.
4. Creatively state my beliefs with respect toward and understanding of the listener/reader.
5. Express my gratitude to the other person for engaging in the conversation or debate.
Lord God, these guidelines are also my prayer concerning my writing. Thank you for loving me enough to discipline me and for the grace you love to give so that I can change. Amen.
Last Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, Jdimytai Damour, a 34 year old Wal-Mart associate was trampled to death by shoppers on Long Island, N.Y. Excluding all terrors that would involve my kids, I think that death by trampling might be on my list of top ten worst nightmares.
This is not only because the pain would be relentless, but also because of other factors that I might be thinking, if there was time amidst the whole shock of the situation, such as, "I'm actually going to die right now."
And the tragedy only multiplies. Perhaps if I was standing only ten feet away from that deadly spot, my life would have been spared for another half of a lifetime. Also, getting hit by a car in an accident, or getting run over by a herd of wild animals might be easier news to swallow than the fact that my own intelligent fellow humans were the ones killing me; in fact, they were the same ones I was getting paid to serve that day.
Is a bargain really enough to drive someone to murder? Some (not so smart) people might call this passion, and maybe it is some twisted form of the definition but I'd like to think of passion as something that runs a little deeper than my desire for a 32-inch flat screen TV on sale. I might be willing to pay good money for a good bargain on a high quality product, but one doesn't generally find that sort of thing at Wal-Mart.
Yesterday I went shopping for a new cell phone at T-Mobile because a single button on mine no longer functioned, making text messaging, my main form of mobile communication, impossible. The sales assistant who was helping me explained that my phone had water damage and that they would not be able to repair the phone. "Water damage? But my phone has never come into contact with water," I said. He said that even a little condensation could ... [destroy the whole electronic device].
I reminded him that we live in Seattle, where there is a 100% chance of condensation on a fairly regular basis. He said that he could give me a small discount on a new phone if I add 2 years to my contract, as if he was doing me a favor. He showed me their least expensive phone. I raised my eyebrows and said, "Really? Not only does this phone have very few features, but it's overpriced, and it's ugly. And it definitely does not look condensation-proof." Fortunately he was a good sport and was able to laugh along with me at the absurdity of the situation, but I'm still stuck with a non-working phone.
So what about these trouncing Black Friday shoppers? I would much rather be the dead employee than the people so miserable they have to kill a man in order to satisfy a drug-like stupefied infatuation. But in all fairness I must put myself in the shoes of these victims too. I've certainly experienced a mob mentality before, in the form of mainstream Christianity, but that doesn't really have anything to do with this blog post.
One summer I was at a very large music festival and I had been separated from the rest of my party in the crowd. The band I was watching had just ended their show and as the people in the front left their places, the section of the crowd where I was standing began moving toward the stage. I felt like I was going to get crushed and there was nothing I could do except get carried along.
Eventually I found myself way too close to the monstrous sound speakers on the stage which would make my already deaf ears even deafer. So I had to shove my way out of the front row and any concern for the feet I was stepping/falling on, or the faces I was shouldering would've only defeated my purpose.
Together, and even through competition, a mob can accomplish much more than individuals but it can also (obviously) do untold damage, such as in the case of a mafia. Walter Lippmann said, "Where all think alike, no one thinks very much." I would guess that the Wal-Mart mob did not intend to kill anyone, not literally at least, although it is a little disturbing that they wanted to keep shopping after their manslaughter.
Still, how many areas of life am I mindlessly being carried along with the rest of crowd because it is too much work and suffering of ridicule to swim against the school of flow? When it is a matter of eternal life and death, no passionate rebellion is too extreme - only too ignorant. Jesus was a lone ranger in many ways, including in His death. Although we need each other, the responsibility for our thoughts, beliefs, and desires belongs to each of us alone.
Well, maybe this post is about mainstream movements after all.
I can't believe the news today
Oh, I can't close my eyes and make it go away
How long, how long must we sing this song?
...
Broken bottles under children's feet
Bodies strewn across the dead end street
But I won't heed the battle call
It puts my back up
Puts my back up against the wall
...
And the battle's just begun
There's many lost, but tell me who has won
The trench is dug within our hearts
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart
...
And it's true we are immune
When fact is fiction and TV reality
And today the millions cry
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die
...
The real battle just begun
To claim the victory Jesus won
...
~ U2, Sunday Bloody Sunday
