Orphans Are In My Face

Taylor and Johnny, my nephews, are staying at Polinsky Center for kids in San Diego, California. To be honest, I had no idea that children's group homes existed in the U.S. until now. I knew that there weren't enough foster homes to care for the children who have been abandoned or taken from their parents by the state, but I guess my mind just kept that notion blank. Finding very little info on the internet about group homes, my mind is still in the dark. I did learn that there is not even enough room in group homes and that many children are staying in hotels.

My sister described the Polinsky group home to me and it wasn't at all what I expected. It looks like an old, run down school, fenced in like a detention facility with security everywhere. Visiting hours are very limited and my family could not visit with Taylor and Johnny without supervision. There are about 300 kids living in this particular group home, ages 0-18 years. There is a nursery for the babies. My nephews are able to play basketball, do crafts, and other activities like bake in the kitchen. Taylor made a friend with another 14 year old who has been living there his entire life. Johnny made a friend too but that boy was released and another kid took his place.

The legal process to release my nephews will take at least one week. My sisters and boyfriends brought Taylor and Johnny two backpacks filled with new clothes, new socks, a journal, books, comic books, a miniature garden gnome, along with notes and letters from the rest of our family. My sister's boyfriend filled the Mp3 players with music for them but the boys were not allowed to take them. The boys were so happy to finally see family and they were full of unanswered questions. They were worried about their dad, their home, their things at home, etc. They wanted to leave and start their new life living with my mom, their grandma.

Visiting hours were over and everyone hugged and cried. Taylor and Johnny did not want to be left there. My sisters and significant others had a difficult time with the visit and could not sleep last night. Today, my mom will meet their attorney and be at their court hearing. Our lives are now on hold with one goal: to get our boys released from this place.

I couldn't sleep last night either. My mind wanted to think about how my nephews might be feeling, but I had a difficult time imagining it. More blanks were drawn. Because the reality of a group home is now a personal part of my life, I am forced to think of this multitude of children without parents, without a home, without a permanent biological family.

Contrary to some, I am glad that their mothers did not abort them. I am thankful that they have been removed from neglected or abused situations. I am relieved that people have donated to these non-profit children's homes. But America, even in an economic recession, is so wealthy. Why can't these "homes" be more pleasant, and look more like homes? I used to long to go to Africa to care for the orphans. Now I realize that the orphans are practically in my backyard. Yet I feel powerless to change anything.

I am still in shock about my brother. He sounded relieved upon hearing that our mom will take custody of two of his kids and that I will have permanent custody of his youngest. I know that he brought upon himself any consequences for his actions, but it still saddens me that he can not even talk to his kids, nor his girlfriend of many years and does not know how long he will remain in jail. I can't imagine being arrested. His life will forever be changed, but does anyone come out of jail a better person?

It is so easy for me to look down upon people who have made wrong decisions that hurt themselves and others, but there is no room for that in this personal situation for me. I have made plenty of wrong decisions myself, and have received much mercy. No, for me there is only extreme grief and heartache, not only for my nephews and my family, but also for the many homeless children and childless parents... and also for me.